Positive thinking about the past... or how to use darkness to get to the light

This is a post:

• about holes and pain
• about finding the right hole
• about getting in and out of holes
• and, whatever you may think so far, not at all about anything physical.

Now let's start with some physics (Did I really say it wasn't physical? Basically, everything is, one way or another.) as background knowledge:

• black hole - don't let the name fool you: a black hole isn't really a hole. It's a one-way empty space which can only be entered from the outside and from each no matter or light can escape;
• white hole - a hypothetical region of spacetime that cannot be entered from the outside, although matter and light can escape from it. It's the reverse of a black hole. 

It has been suggested that black holes end their lives by transforming into white holes, which eject the information that has been sucked into the black hole. This theory may not have being astronomically or physically proven yet. However, metaphorically speaking, the idea behind this exists in every human being's life. How?

...

How often have you being in a situation that makes you want to go through all these steps:

1. scream "why the f***?!" so loudly that everyone goes deaf from the sound of your voice;
2. cry an ocean so big that the whole planet sinks in it, killing the world as you know it;
3. hit that ocean so powerfully that your fist manages to go through the water, reach the bottom, and make a hole in the planet Earth leading straight to space;
4. get swallowed by the emptiness of a black whole, relieved by the knowledge that there is no coming back from this one-way tunnel and hoping that the existence of white wholes is not simply a part of some nerdy physicist's imagination;
5. eventually get poured out of a white hole, preferably light-years away from your point of origin.

I know these steps sound awful, but, sometimes, this is exactly what you need to get away from wherever-it-is-you-don't-wanna-be-anymore. Because letting yourself get sucked into the darkest hole, often, is the only way to find the ascending white light you're craving for.

...

Have you ever tried looking through elbow macaroni? I have, as a kid, and it was difficult to see anything but darkness through them. Unfortunately, life gives you glasses made of elbow macaroni, sometimes. What do you do then? Speaking of holes, which one is usually the one you find shelter in when life gets macaroni-complicated?

~ Pink hole ~

Nothing bad has happened. Well, I know something happened, something that should cause me pain. But I choose to ignore everything I dislike, everything hurtful, everything black. Why am I talking at all?! Life is there for me to live, not to think. I'll put my pink glasses on and go to a wild party. I won't even get drunk - as I said, nothing bad has happened.

~ Green hole ~

Something bad happened to me, but I am going to remain calm. Painful things happen to people all the time. It's nobody's fault, there isn't a greater reason. It's how life is. I need to accept this and learn to be happy despite of it, enjoy life. I'll make myself a cup of tea. Some biscuits would go good with it - should I go for chocolate or normal ones?

~ Yellow hole ~

Something very bad happened to me. And this is nothing new... I don't even ask myself "Why?" anymore. Bad things simply happen to me all the time, no matter what I do! I hate this life... A life written on the lines of my palm. I will go lie on the couch and wait for destiny to finally give me something I desire.

~ Violet hole ~

I know something bad happened, but... How did it happen? Why was this done to me? I don't wanna know. It's definitely not my fault, anyway, as I did everything right... What happened hurts me, but the mysterious actions of others are out of my control, so I need to just move on. I'll go meet some friends, share with them how unfair other people were to me, discuss the future.

I'm sure you can already see that all these colorful holes suck. I guess you could also think of other colors, which could join the list. However, you schould agree that we wasted enough time on dead-end-holes. So, let's take a look at the holes with "cosmic meaning".

~ Black hole ~

Something very bad happened. My whole world has come crushing down over me, and I can see nothing but Grim in my crystal ball. I can't ask myself questions about what's happened, because it hurts so much, as I know I did everything in my life wrong and there is no going back, there is no going forward, either. I'll go to a bar, alone, and drink 'till I forget... everything... If I get lucky, a wild animal will find me, drunk and sleeping somewhere on the street, and have my powerless body for late dinner.

Prima facie, this hole sounds way worse than the others. Total darkness. However, it is the right start on the way to "ascention" - no unnecessary joyful or calming colors there, no blaming other people or higher powers, no ignoring. Accept, suffer, acknowledge.

~ Between a black and a white whole ~

I know I'm on a bad place and I don't understand how or why I got here, yet. Anyway, I know it's for a good reason, and I am trying to understand it. I know I've made mistakes, but I know I am only responsible for my own actions and not for everything. I am determined to learn and not repeat the same shit again, as I know that my life is, primarily, in my own hands. I am going to see a movie with a friend, after that I'll go to bed and read a book 'till I fall asleep... I hope to get some ideas on how to change my situation.

~ White hole ~

I am on (the way to) a place where I wanna be. I have piece with myself. I improve(d) myself. I am ready to enjoy life... again... And continue learning. *please insert whatever makes you happy here*

...

Here is a truth - I am a huge fan of the concept of positive thinking, but I have never read about it myself so far, and I wouldn't read about it anytime soon. Because I feel my version of it, I sense it's mechanism, I see it working for me.

My mom, on the other hand, has read lots about it, recently, and has tried to "teach" me stuff. Rather unnecessary, as it somehow comes natural to me in my own way.

The reason I share this boring mother-doughter-story is to excuse my lack of information about what exactly is referred to as "positive thinking". From what my mother has told me (while I, only halfhearted, listened to her) and from a movie I once saw, called "The secret", the popular teachings are mainly focused on the future. The idea is: imagine your dreams coming true in your mind and feel them happening in your heart - if you do so, you will definitely achieve everything you want, because the universe will sense your positive energy and mirror it back to you. The universe will make things happen.

I don't really disagree with this idea, except one thing. Not the universe, but you... you are the one who gathers (postive/negative) energy from your (positive/negative) thoughts; you make things happen. The universe, God, or whatever power there is, is there rather to protect you, to guide you, to organize things that arn't in your power, when you do your best with everything else that does depend on you... However, this is just how I feel.

So, what was I saying... I was stating the rather future orientation of the concept of positive thinking. My "holes classification", on the other side, indirectly describes my perception of how positive thinking may also be exercised on the past. Positive thinking about the past is what helps you navigate from black to white. And it's nothing more and nothing less than the "right" (positive) attitude towards bad things happening in your life.

Bad things are not:

• to be ignored (pink)
• simply happening without a reason (green)
• there because life sucks, destiny is a bitch and you - a powerless marionette (yellow)
• an indecipherable mystery or somebody else's fault (violet)
• only your fault and, not at all, the end of the world (black)

They are:

• something to learn from (black to white).
• something to help you get where you have to be (white).

Bad things could even be there to protect you from something way worse that could have happenend instead. To illustrate this in a simple way - imagine your train was late and you missed your flight for a trip with your loved one... A journey the both of you had planed for months, investing so much money, heart and energy, to a place you wanted to visit your whole life. How would you feel? Angry, sad, wronged? Now imagine yourself going back home, still feeling all these emotions. You sit down on your couch, turn on the TV, and hear on the news that a plane has just crushed. Your plane. No survivors. Is you missing the flight still bad?

I know, this is an extreme example. However, if you think about "bad things" that have happened to you and what would have been different in your life if they hadn't... Are they all really bad??

...

A week ago my boyfriend and me broke up. Boyfriend is a word not powerful enough for what we had... This end felt like the most painful thing for me, althought I was the one to initiate it. For him it was even worse, so I probably can't even imagine the magnitude of pain he felt... Anyway, as hard as it was, I now know it did us both well. It changed me. It changed him even more. And I was so impressed by the change in him...!
It went like that: first, I saw him getting sucked into the violet hole, second, into the yellow one, third, into the black one. Than, we had a "chat" about all mistakes the both us had made in our relationship, and, as sad as this sounds, we probably learned more about eachother in this one night than in the last year of our three-and-a-half-years-long relationship. Only a couple of days later, I saw him do the most impressing things... And he did them out of motivation to prove my break-up-decision wrong... to me, but mostly to himself. At that moment, I wasn't sure if I wanted to grab him back or if I wished I had broken up with him sooner to motivate him be this better self earlier. He lost a lover, but he got a better version of himself in exchange. How did he achieve it? He accepted the bad side of what happened. He thought things through and learned a lesson. He chose to concentrate on the good things that could come out of his loss. At the end, this is just another example why "bad" isn't only bad. Because:

• when handled the raight way, pain can give you real strenght;
• proving somebody, who caused you pain, wrong can be a powerful source of motivation;
• your own experience and the power of admitting your own mistakes are what made you be;
• and, as a main ingridient, positive thinking (about your future as well as your past) is what helps you improve the person you are.

What's more, positive thinking about past events can reduce the pain caused by them. Don't get the wrong idea: acknowledging and feeling your pain is crutial - if you don't - it will eat your stomach and spil out your insides all over you. However, while you're hurting, try to ask the right questions. Know that the positive side of each and every unwanted thing in your life is certainly there! If you can't see that right away, you surely will sometime in the future. And knowing that... why would you suffer so deeply from something caring a positive change in your life? Why would you suffer from missing your flight and vacation when this "bad thing" saved your life? This way of thinking, this infinite quest for searching the positive side of everything, won't take the pain away (and it shouldn't!) but should help you reduce it, above all by shortening the lifetime of your black holes and allowing their transformation into white ones.

...

Know, that something spilled out of a white hole is an improved version of the matter originally sucked into the black one... Because the spiritual road between a black and a white hole is build out of elbow macaroni. So, a matter that successfully went up this dark macaroni-road had to learn to cook them, break them, transform them... find some way to fight them, using a wooden spoon, some cooking water, and it's bear hands or usung the beautiful power of its mind: master some psychokinetic abilities, maybe even learn to levitate.
When you are that matter in the hole - don't let the macaroni-circumstances hide the light from you. Think positively, transform a black hole into a white one, and you will come out of it as a better version of yourself.

Believe in the existence of white holes. 

Don't be afraid of black holes.

Black is the strict father of white.